Being A Victim
What is a victim?
According to www.oxforddictionaries.com,
A victim is a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action: victims of domestic violence, earthquake victims.
Are you a victim?
What is harming you, injuring you, killing you (though, you’d be dead if that was the case!), what event or action is causing you to feel that way?
We hear this word, “victim”, often, people use it when there is somebody else involved.
We are victims of the system. We are victims of our parents, peers, teaches, etc., etc.
So, I am going to pose another question to you.
Who is victimising you?
In my coaching practice what I aim to do is to help my clients understand, see that they are the ones in control, “ownership” should be their desired outcome, let me explain.
When we take control or ownership of our actions, nothing or almost nothing will hinder you or hold you back.
You mess up, you admit to it, you move on!
It really is that simple.
You make a mistake, you correct it, you move on!
It isn’t that difficult, I promise you.
You have an accident (you know the type of accident I mean), you ensure it doesn’t happen again, move on!
You see, how adopting this mindset has the potential to prevent you from attaching yourself to the outcome, you remove the victim label, you learn whatever lessons must be learned and then you move on, no suffering, no drama, no tears, no end of the world, and you become a better person in the process.
Also, when you own your actions, you don’t let small things bother you longer than they should.
You offend someone, you apologise (or not, your choice), as long as you know this is happening (people call this awareness), that’s it, period, end of!
In the past I have been guilty of being a “victim”, I still am at times (especially when my partner and I have a row, lol), and it took me a while to realise that I was being it, a viiiiictiiiiiim.
I believe, I have mentioned that I love reading, I can’t put books down.
One day, I was reading a book by Doreen Virtue, the Angels author, in this book she said (BTW, she is a psychologist too!), when you are a victim what you are really saying is: someone has control over you.
That was it for me.
Even to this point in my life and career I didn’t quite grasp what being a victim really was.
But having read that small sentence was it for me.
When I was being (or when I am being) a victim what I am doing is giving power, control to someone over me.
I have gone all my life, doing my best to being independent and free of anything or anyone.
Yet, I was still attaching myself to people and circumstances and being dependent, co-dependent and doing the complete opposite to what I had set out to do.
Today, I know different.
Whatever happens in my life, good or bad, I do not attach myself to the outcome, and that way if something goes badly wrong I will not dwell on it for long, so I don’t become a victim of it.
I understand and I know it is easier said than done.
We have been brought up in a society and culture where we almost feel we have to excuse our behaviours and pass them onto somebody else, someone is responsible but us.
It takes time, takes practice, it takes a willing desire it to improve it.
Do you want to be a victim or a hero in your life?
Do you want to be remembered for always complaining about how hard life is?
Do you want to be remembered for being in charge and control of your life?
The option is yours.
Whether you want to be a victim or not, it is up to you.
If you want to be a hero, that is up to you too.
I invite you to take control over your life and start living the life of your dreams.
If you need help, seek it.
If you need direction, look for it.
There are plenty options out there to get you in the right path.
Want to know how I work? Get in touch, you know how to contact me, don’t you?
Till next time.
Please share with others.
With all my love.
From my heart to yours,